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accidentally smeared the blueberry when wiping it from my toddler's face and now he has a blueberry joker smile

hmm

having parent brain means pouring myself a glass of milk and putting it back into the cupboard and not finding out until the next morning

can I return this if I don't like it or

we have three kids now so I guess you could say they are their mother's 3

happy birthday to me we all have a stomach bug and are puking our fucking guts out!! including the kids!

no i will NOT yield any of my 𝓫𝓮𝓻𝓽𝓱 to you're gmc yukon

had a dream where the onett rugs got restocked and I was thwarted by a series of eight Itoi-esque captchas that could not be solved by the common man

❤️

putting costco guacamole on literally anything is a cheat code to get my kids to eat

MOTHER 3 turns 20 in Japan today it's hard to believe it's been that long & I miss the friends that made it all so special it's wonderful seeing so many fans keeping the game & community alive I still hope we'll see an official localization one day 🤞

can we just not

guy who pronounces bluesky like blewski

I am now realizing there is an alternate universe not far from here where Pollyanna has won a Grammy

it figures that I get a flat tire right after getting rear ended guess where my spare tire is guess whose trunk is stuck closed on account of being rear ended time to throw the car away

incredible timing that Canada opens up to Chinese EVs the day after my 2011 shitbox gets rear ended I wanna buy a BYD Seagull

my first car.... my first accident....... rear ended............. I don't know if she'll make it doc

absolutely nailed it