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So Chuck Norris died:

Brain: Go eat. Me: I'm not hungry. Brain: All you've had all morning is water. Go eat. Your blood sugar is 85! Me: But I- Brain: I. Said. Go. Eat. Now. Me: But-

New shirt just arrived 😎 #ICEOUT

*smug grin* I'm proud of this one.

How it's going on Threads so far:

My uncle: “Why do you, as a grown woman, like Lego so much?” Me: “Clicky brick make spicy brain go ‘shhh’.”

One question MAGA cause I've been going through the Epstein files little by little: HOW IN THE FLYING FUCK DID YOU ASSHOLES MANAGE TO TOP UNIT 731 IN THE ATROCITIES DEPARTMENT?!

Neil Gaiman: "So anyway..." The rest of us: NOT NOW, NEIL GAIMAN.

I had bariatric surgery in March 2024. I was 351 lbs before my surgery, and I just weighed myself this morning and I'm down to 204. I've lost 147 lbs since March 18, 2024. I actually cried looking at my scale this morning.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=GStc...

Courage The Cowardly Dog - Courage’s ScreamYouTube video by Diego Hernandezwww.youtube.com

The “Melania” doc is so bad Greg Abbott walked out of it.

I'm waiting for Chewy to deliver Lotus' Churus and she's giving me The Look cause I always give her one a day. I ran out 2 days ago.

Greg Bovino was fired from ICE. Sadly he can't go back to the North Pole because he was fired for constantly missing elf practice so I dunno what he's gonna do now.

a cartoon elf with a beard and a hat is standing in a roomALT: a cartoon elf with a beard and a hat is standing in a roommedia.tenor.com

I am going to FUCKING scream.

Tea. Tea fixes everything. Have a cold? Tea. Sore throat? Tea. A little tired and want some caffeine? Tea. A domestic terrorist group is roaming the streets of your country and indiscriminately beating, imprisoning and shooting people for standing up to them? TEA GOD DAMN IT!

Just wanted to say if any of my followers in any way tries to justify this shooting in Minneapolis... Just unfollow me now. I trust a majority of you but I'm leaving this as a general comment. I don't want ICE supporters on my profile.

How I know I'm getting old: Writing a shopping list and it took me 15 minutes to remember the word BACON.