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"No, no, your honor. I wasn't being devious. I'm simply incompetent."

Turns out there is such a thing as too strong a hairline.

Do libertarians ever stop complaining?

This is like the fossil fuel industry yelling that Al Gore could only be motivated by financial incentives.

This headline makes the opening of Tarantino’s novel read like Chabon.

What's the scandal here?

I wonder if it's the demand.

I don't mind if you don't save all my old photos and videos and of course you can stop saving all my texts.

This is the sort of comment that guillotines are made out of.

I feel like the idea is that allowing open containers in a non-pandemic environment would also be relatively problem-free and that the OP was not, in fact, saying, "Man, that pandemic was some party!"

Perhaps––and, hear me out––everything that comes out of this guy's mouth does not need to be turned into a headline.

Sanders progressives have always been absolutely positively unwilling to compromise on any issue in the name of electoral strategy UNLESS OF COURSE the issue pertains to women. To wit: Bernie saying we need to embrace pro-life Dem candidates.

Wow the new host of The Charlie Kirk Show is really making a name for himself.

“Took a break” from having my laptop write my novel for me.

If you want to make him sound drunk you don't even have to slow him to 0.5x playback anymore.

Are you going to cry when you learn that a woman is playing the ghost of Christmas present and a black man is playing the ghost of Christmas past?

I'd also bet that Ebenezer will not generate a month's worth of online howling and essays of quote-unquote serious political thought.