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Me saying I’m doing a “calorie deficit diet” is more acceptable than me saying “I forgot to eat in two days”

I bring a certain Unnamable Horror Vibe to the Function

Power Electronics and Chill ?

wanna learn to paint like the vibes from art made by women with serial killer fetishes foggy, hazy, pale and sickly

I wish I had but an ounce of the swag Matthew Lillard had with his outfits in Hackers

If my ass falling into the backrooms the first thing I’m gonna do is find a couch and take a long ass fuckin nap

There needs to be a cute but hot way to refer to a vagina. Vagina sounds too clinical and literally every other name sound too immature: cunt, pussy, muff, box, cooter etc.

When she whips out her Clit you know it gonna be a Certified Zoo Wee Mama Moment 💅

a fat girl to smoke with would heal me

doggy

I like learning about molecular biology. I feel like I’m learning about toys :)

Broke up an argument between two of my 50 year old male employees because they couldn’t decide who was getting the single dollar in tips we got

I’m full of nicotine and gyoza for an AMAZING reason

Let’s fuckin goo dawg, Halloween decorations spotted at local Costco My dick hard af

Tho let’s be real, I know my ass getting accused of witchcraft and I WILL be burnt at the stake :)

Medieval Twitter would’ve gone hard as fuck tho “Giselbertus didn’t laugh at my Frankish joke, I hope God makes his land barren for 10 generations to come”