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Dear god, a frosty mop at that! I take it you are as surprised as me 😎

The wheels on the bus….fall off

As a soon to be pensioner, the triple lock is too much! Make it a sensible single lock.

We are all relying on you Count Binface, take out the trash 😎💪

At least he is speaking to his voters in their own language

I think Jeremy Clarkson said an ex used to drop the C bomb into a conversation as early as possible to gauge the relationship possibility. I am with her all the way

Nor me

To be fair they are very “Angry Birds”, maybe should have been Angry Burnham. Most wouldn’t have got it tho, too niche

Are they not eyebrows or has he got amazing lashes too?

I am sure @balconyshirts.co.uk could arrange it for you 😎

I quote the elastic band theory

Just in case of what for god’s sake, the mind boggles 😎

He really is a shameful stunt, oh hang on, spellcheck got stunt wrong again 😎

I will run around my garden naked if the Count wins, go go Binface

Go on Count Binface, do it!

Go go Binface 😎

I want to stand as the “Not Nige” candidate

*them

They blame Apple/Samsung for not giving the “free” headphones

Nope they are arrogant twats/twatesses who only think about themselves.