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youtube.com/shorts/5yOZL... Our ministers aren't just nicer than theirs, they're nicer to look at. Well, I guess Gavin Newsom's not hideous... but we also encourage our elected leaders to hang it up before it rots off. #WeekendAtDonnie's

I hope the young people continue to watch the ancient pictures. "Cause Chevy didn't make a 327 in '55, the 327 didn't come out till '63. And it wasn't offered in the Bel Air with a four-barrel carb till '64."

Taylor Farms is on sale at Whole Foods. You’ve got to be shitting me. 🫩

Trump ate shit 💩 today… his favorite Argentina lost to a country he despises

Miller: "It's not a coincidence that when you look at these violent Antifa demonstrations not one of the people that is demonstrating looks like a normal person. Not one looks normal. They're all deformed in some way in their appearance, in their dress, in their mannerism." #cdnpoli

But it's okay every other time he talks???? Honestly GOP, do something, or fuck off.

Nice living in Canada… tonight, we had salad, with lettuce, and romaine lettuce, mandarin orange slices and berries… not even a little worried about the plumbing, because we do not have morons running our country.

If our elections are rigged, how did the GOP win the White House, the Senate, Congress and the Supreme Court? They won everything, so why cry about it unless you know you're going to lose bad.

I just moved a refrigerator into a fifth-floor walkup with Mitch McConnell. At one point, he held the whole thing up with just one hand. It was a little intimidating how healthy and strong and virile he is.

Trump supporters having to seek shelter in the African-American museum. Too perfect.

"This was the largest audience to ever witness a fair—period—both in person and around the globe."

Soccer was invented to trick Americans into learning where other countries are.

Just give me a pogo stick and a crowbar, and I'll have it done in 10 minutes.