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just fucking write it

don't follow your heart. follow MY heart. only write things i want to read please and thank you

it's been a weird day you don't get a writing tip

three act structure. first the character has a problem, then it's miraculously solved, then you have 300 pages of nothing. easy as piss

characters

characters can't

characters can't have

characters can't have good

characters can't have good parents

if you're worried something might not make sense, stop that! readers don't need to understand everything

remember that your characters are alive and would probably react to stimuli in their enclosures

love each other

choose a character and give them a proverbial sandwich full of rusty nails. then choose another character and give them an actual sandwich full of rusty nails, and have them kill somebody with it

it all comes back to that novel you wrote in 2003

if you think you have enough eye contact in your story: no you don't

it doesn't matter if anyone else finds it hot. it only matters if YOU find it hot. just write it

it's not coming home

(places your hands on the keyboard) do it for garlic bread

you call them typos, i call them easter eggs