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discourse scientists predict the existence of a 'god take', a hypothetical opinion-like object which instantly kills the reader

i miss when total systems collapse was a new, exciting change of pace and not an inconvenience that i'm rich enough to mostly ignore

going blind because my photosynthetic coworker left a sunbeam in the office fridge

lol

"where do you see yourself in five years" probably with my hand stuck in a trap because i won't let go of the banana

the nonconstructive homie

every* squad has the** maximal homie*** *nonempty squad with unity **not necessarily unique ***assuming the axiom of choice

Cannot CHECK PHONE in combat. Cannot CHECK PHONE in combat. Cannot CHECK PHONE in combat. Cannot CHECK PHONE in combat. Cannot CHECK PHONE in combat. You were killed by DARK WIZARD!

once you start noticing confirmation bias, you realize it's behind everything

Everything good in the world is being destroyed, and there's not a shred of hope that we'll get any of it back. (For our readers across the pond, a shred is about 1.6 metric glimmers.)

Pain is weakness destroying the body

this has been on loop in my head for two days

Fresh Unto Death

5000 year old bit discovered in present-day Iraq "Judging by contemporaneous sources, the humor wasn't necessarily clear at the time either"

researchers warn of sugar-resistant 'super medicines' that could take as many as four or five spoonfuls to go down

the funniest line is 'you will want to know'. no i will not

Patrick Stewart was invented [discovered?] in Yorkshire, England in the early 1940s.

My latest for the Atlantic: Why I Left the Koi Pond by the Entrance to the Zoo 𝘕𝘰, 𝘮𝘺 𝘢𝘳𝘳𝘦𝘴𝘵 𝘩𝘢𝘥 𝘯𝘰𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘵𝘰 𝘥𝘰 𝘸𝘪𝘵𝘩 𝘪𝘵.

(jfk doing a jlp post) on of mot appear

i say this with affection, by which i mean the hateful functor admits a left adjoint