Профиль

trying to go to bed but this book is TOO good

One of our two internet providers in town is down, so the grocery stores can only take cash. I just taught one of the children running the cash register at Safeway how to crack a sleeve of quarters like an egg. Generational wisdom.

Hands down the highlight of the reception was two little boys double-fisting crucifixes, one yelling “now the demons can’t get us!”

After 103 years of devout Catholicism, my grandma had built up a massive collection of statues, medals, and other religious tchotchkes, so we had a big table at the funeral reception for people to take things home, and I tell you what, people LOVE funeral favors

cleaning out drawers at my grandma’s and sliced my finger on a razor from the 40’s what superpowers do we think I’m getting

Okay folks, I need recommendations for parenting resources (books, websites, podcasts, whatever) to help me help my seven year old manage negative feelings. I appreciate any and all thoughts!

Coworker: but she needs an IEP Me: why do you think that? Coworker: she doesn’t like school Me: that’s not one of the qualifying diagnoses for an IEP Coworker: so what kind of IEP can you give her?! Me: *sets myself on fire*

*invention of the baby carrot* Scientist: it should taste like a carrot, but project the sensuality of a naive ingenue in the big city Assistant: in…genue…got it Scientist: oh and it should be soaking wet Assistant: that goes without saying

Adding a sixth stage of grief called hoarding where you compulsively surround yourself with the dead person’s clothes and possessions

@msstefaniekirby.bsky.social was right, swim lessons is really the prime activity for editing poems

damn grandpa was cool as hell

Me every time someone at work asks why I won’t “just give a kid an IEP”

Patrick Star Headbanging at Krusty KrabAlt: Squid ward slamming his head into the cash register at the Krusty krabstatic.klipy.com

This is a very, very good book.

I’m no addiction expert but I feels like a bad thing that all the “quit drinking” apps cost money

not NOW, paris review rejection

All I can say is the Maine democrats better have seen Troy Jackson naked, I can’t go through this again.

jokes on everyone, turns out you CAN take it with you. your ancestors are in heaven poor as hell.

Love to style what I think is a cute outfit and end up looking like an extra from Pirates of Penzance

google searches: suits for ladies jumpsuit but have real butt suit please no ai images

I need the various bi and lesbian and soft-masc folks to assemble and advise me: I need funeral attire for eastern Washington in August (so, hot as hell) looking for recommendations for places to get a jumpsuit or suit