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Sought help with sex addiction. Must apologise to people I've hurt. I apologised to the wife of a man I spent a weekend with in 2017. Only I didn't because I remembered it wrong and she's married to a different man. I'm trying to make things better and I'm making them worse.

Recently took up running, and when I'm adjusting the phone holder on my arm, I always hold it between my teeth while I tighten the strap, and every time I imagine I'm Ewan McGregor in Trainspotting about to shoot up

Had an excellent hairdresser. Pretty, slightly flirty, not too much chat. Found out she had an OnlyFans, had a look. Had to find a new hairdresser as couldn't get the image out of my head of her with her whole arm in her husband's arse.

I tell everyone I support Arsenal because it was my grandad's team. But the truth is when I was 6 my mum got me a pair of shorts from a jumble sale with the logo on it, and I just went with that.

I once lived on my own working a job that barely paid the rent and bills. To save money, I only flushed my toilet once every two days and would pee in the shower instead. After a week my flat smelt awful and my neighbours complained about the smell.

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I sometimes lick my cat's head to imitate a mother cat grooming him and he purrs his little heart out.

After my ex & I split, an old schoolmate I barely knew reached out. His mate had died by suicide after a breakup, so he wanted to check I was ok. Touched, we met for drinks & I met his wife. That night she came onto me. We fucked. Ghosted him next day. Can't face him.

I work for a major record label and am also a part time musician. I release all of my own music independently because there is literally no value in signing a record deal for any artist.

I used to run the hotel TV remote up my arse crack. Laughing thinking about people handling it after. Until a friend pointed out I might be handling and running a remote up my arse crack someone has done the same to. Now I only watch things on my devices.

When I worked at Budgens in 2003, my Mum would come in sometimes to pick up a few bits. Whenever I saw her come in, I'd make sure to take over the one till we had. I'd scan every other item and bag them immediately. Saved her a fortune. Still feel happy about this.

An incompetent colleague I manage doesn't realise I copy and paste every email email I send her into CoPilot and ask 'redraft this for a colleague who can't take any critical feedback'. Our working relationship has improved a lot since I started doing this.

Went on a few dates with a lass & I ended things via text. Two years later, I was in the queue at the pharmacy & she emerged from the consultancy room. Couldn't face seeing her or telling her about my earwax problem so turned around & hastily left. Still have the earwax issue.

I occasionally worked in the BBCs music studios. I booked a free slot to record my mate's band. They got bored and were chucking the guitarist's bag of sandwiches around. It got stuck on a light fitting. Alex's lunch was visible on TV music programmes for several years after.

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On holiday in Spain recently, quite a nice hotel. I'd swim in the pool in the afternoon then tell my husband I was going back to the room to shower. Our bathroom had a fabulously versatile & effective bidet where I nearly power-hosed off my clitoris during those two weeks.

My wife was happy we had a cute bunny living under the shed. She noticed it hadn't been seen in a while. So did I after the dog brought me its decapitated body. She can never know her angel pup is a murderer.

Just saw my first robot delivery box thing. I hung a bag full of dogshit from the aerial becaue I am a good human.

I'm a 53 year old woman. Sometimes, to get away from my family, I go out for a drive & I pick a random car & pretend I'm tailing it like an undercover policeman. I'm not very good at it, though. Usually lose them in first 5 minutes.

My lazy ex would wipe the butter knife on the edge of the container - always mixed with jam or ketchup. When I had to butter his toast he got it all back.