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oh gosh poor amazon

never run in sequin pants. the chafe!

On the contrary, I’m certain my houseguests’ delight in being entertained in my home IS a direct result of never colliding with the rear sliding glass door, thanks to all the visible dog slobber

Getting kind of steamed to think that the animals NEVER say bless you when *I* sneeze.

it’s good to smell roses and it’s okay to be disappointed when one smells like classic department store perfume rose, that’s just your nose confirming good branding still exists

I like immediately asking new people the names of their kids to find out their entire aspirational package in one go

Microsoft?! Misleading its investors/the gen public?! Surely you jest

It is SO NICE to be able to read someone else’s writing on Rodin‘s sculptures and be reassured that, indeed, that man could get it

yum. YUMMMMMM.

wait what now they’re capable of introspection??

It’s important to start off with the premise of things being constantly, objectively unfair. And then just stop there.

Film you've watched more than six times with a gif. Hard mode: no Star Trek, Star Wars, LOTR, Marvel, Disney, or Ghibli.

Smug CockyAlt: Steve Martin in The Jerk, in a white gas station service attendant uniform from the 1970s, strolls away from the camera smirking and chucklingstatic.klipy.com

oh man I know exactly how they feel it’s just like when I’m trying to hide a new Lambo from my husband and he’s like but babe I thought we were budgeting!!!

"She's really come down in the world," they muttered, watching Persephone stride through Hades to her husband's private offices.