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Up where? In the mezzanine?

The play-action passing game is generally not effective.

Looking forward to those big time cheese-rolling contests.

Trees make the wind blow by waving their branches.

It's AI, so it will probably have two eyes.

I'm a gay black guy

Which one is Shadowfax?

"Together, we can make up history!"

To be fair, he's also building monuments to himself.

You'd want to use conditional formatting to record the really special moments. Maybe some drop-down menus to facilitate the data entry.

Wow, that's really tender. How do I love thee? Let me count the ways... (uses spreadsheet)

At this point, we'll be lucky if he doesn't bomb the shit out of Japan.

I spoke with Mitch McConnell on the phone for 20 minutes

Fister Roboto

I'm sure Trump will have a warm welcome for Shohei Ohtani, from the Islamic Republic of Japan.

But with proper embalming, could remain in the Senate for another 50.

Hucka hucka hucka BLORK

Nope.

I could run a better fair from my bathtub on acid.

To be clear: "The Five" is the Fox News hosts, and "The Eight" are the people attending the fair.