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“I hate Sea Peoples, so I let it be known” - Bronze age Tim Hardaway

Are we sure the island with the Laestrygonians wasn’t just San Antonio? They’d have some big ol women there.

Calypso complaining to Zeus that my meat is dumb tiny and she wants me off her island but I also don’t know how to build a raft or survive at sea and the lotus gives me diarrhea

One of the best feelings in the world is yelling “Shut the fuck up!” or “Sit down and shut the fuck up!” at someone who’s bothering everyone. I strongly encourage everyone to try it. You are instantly everyone’s hero.

I have seen so many articles and ads written about parental alienation in the last month or so that I’m feeling like “Grandparents Rights” is gonna become a MAGA issue for the midterms

When your stepkids ask if they can have a turn on the PS5 you bought for your biological kids.

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Odysseus pretends to be chopped and unc before revealing himself

I’m going to be the single most annoying person on God’s green earth.

Called out of work

One story I’m surprised nobody ever investigated and wrote is whether or not anyone ever actually worked out while watching Kiana on ESPN. Like - who were they and was everyone else just watching in the hopes it would be a chest fly episode?

Ma, your MCM died at sea” - Antinous

Gonna be the “corruption is only bad when I am not involved” guy but about polyamory

Is Don Mattingly secretly a Hogwallop? Because it looks like the Phillies world series chances have r-u-n-n-o-f-t

Phillies offense:

Chip Kelly go back to trade school

this rules lol

They had to cast James to appease the anti-woke crowd.

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“When I will turn 42 I will be a Sixers and save Philadelphia and destroy Boston”

If only Spain put some of the effort that they put into futbol into treating us fairly with trade

Hear me out: A Mission Impossible style action movie where the only human is Tom Cruise and everyone else is a Muppet. Played 100% seriously