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Recently, I went to an Indian restaurant with an Indian person I received garlic naan, despite not having given a preference. I was the only one to receive garlic naan as such. I've been called the fuck out but I'm okay with it

Kinda wild that you can just cut a slice of bread and eat it and it's not against any rule

Stitches are gnarly

Being an American politician is like the easiest job imaginable Just completely lie about basic reality and then say you like Israel Or, you can actually fucking die and they'll still save your seat for you apparently

Blueberry frosting is absolutely cracked

Yo fuck Odin though for real

Focused on the BIG ISSUES

We are so far past where we need to be with policy for this This is a lawsuit to repeal a law which restricts the legality of the output of software that was built on ill-gotten training data using illegal power generators that are polluting entire towns

Mamdani's "Benjamin Netanyahu is a war criminal" monologue is up there with Bryan Cranston's "I am the one who knocks" monologue as far as personal rendition potential goes

I'm likely going to have at least a small scar next to my eye from my surgery this morning. Thankfully, it shouldn't be very obvious unless I do something silly like run a YouTube channel where I start every video with my face directly in front of the camera and high powered lights.

I have successfully had cancer cut out of my face (Genuine relief)

The interesting thing about being wrong about something is that if you just accept you were wrong about it and adjust accordingly, people will appreciate that and nobody is gonna care that you were wrong It's the "imma dig my heels in instead" where you mess up real bad

Goin’ under the knife early next week to hopefully remove some uninvited tissue from my person. It’s near my eye, so part of me is somewhat hoping that I get an eyepatch as a bandage sort of thing. It’d go hard.

At this point just put zoloft in the tap water

The phrase "common sense" seems to have morphed into a new meaning of "my specific deeply messed up concept of reality which I cannot let go of lest my mental state decay into the abyss" Or something

Executive dysfunction—in addition to sounding very funny—sucks

Scientists all talking about “half-life" like of course you're getting defunded you're sitting around playing a video game???

Look, just be glad it's not an *implosive* diarrhea parasite

Can't believe they said a band called Chumbawamba released an album called Tubthumper and we were just like "yeah makes sense"

Having worked with several big tech executives in the past, I have a very hard time getting behind the "AI will take over the world" rhetoric that current CEOs are spreading; largely because I don't think they're actually smart enough to know that.