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i have a chart that shows how i have never ever urinated in a public pool or any body of water

hes got a great cookbook

"guys I am serious where is it coming from?"

now i think its more like he's putting both hands on the hot stove and complaining about the incessant odor of cooked bacon

you don't play nyt games for ethical reasons, I don't play them because they are not fully immersive open world power washing simulators. we are not the same

when someone is mad at you on the computer they make up stuff about your identity to justify their behavior (youre straight, youre rich, you live in new york) because they're not mad enough to identify your actual crimes (i have killed before and i will kill again)

ikr

dang

replacing the gentle status beep on my mini-split with a 110dB klaxon. if Duane gets to blow leaves for three straight hours, my air conditioner gets to sound like a submarine collision warning every time the room drops two degrees.

i have a chart that says everything I make is delicious and perfect, all the time, no exceptions

is it, in fact, a whole new world?

i have a chart that correctly delineates how my penis is not only large, but girthy

it might but not today

I know Art when I see it.

it is now

I still say ”NOT NOW, CATO!” whenever I have a home mishap that seems like a booby trap

I'm pretty neutral on whatever might happen with municipal grocery stores but I will say the way some of you are reacting like Mamdani launched a siege against Gristedes and now commies are in the aisles handing out apples & soup while singing the internationale should make you go outside for a bit

If we send someone to Uranus it should be a Brit, just so we can use the headline EUROPEAN ON URANUS

Haley Stevens squirting like a geyser from her huge pussy all over Will Stancil and his charts