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Alright Bump is just the see what friends are fucking and when app

"They're my son via pussyvore"

This and a hit every day had me not remembering the whole weekend

*belch* god im so sexy

bumpmaps.com/p/pZYCTQZBBN...

Add me on BumpHang with friends IRLbumpmaps.com

I'm pulling out that 401k and throwing it at a fullsuit no chance I'm making it to 62 chat

Puppyboys whenever there's a task that requires 0 puppyboys

or *rubs your birth control implant*

*rubs your prep bump*

I really don't like when I can't carry my own weight in anything it makes me panic SO hard even over the most menial shit

to be fair there's no lemon or lime either

Man these scars from getting scratched up fuckin really aren't going away lmao I hope I never do one of those midlife crisis furry pivots into being a normie and have to explain it to my christian heteronormal wife

why is there no tea in sprite tea

Guess who got so drunk they left their license there :)

I put on coyotes yarring and if you're just going to be on your phone you can leave

Having a crush on someone genuinely makes me feel like such a fuckin loser lmao like bro get a grip on urself

Super Size Me except with Costco hotdog

Why does every fast food burger except Culvers kinda suck

God I love when medias take a theme for something and then reveal a remix to go harder for a climax