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I’m getting my friend’s cat for two weeks while he’s out of town.

'A diaper change'? Well, do you have pee-pee pants or poo-poo pants? Aw, don't be bashful, champ. Come on over and I'll check for myself.

So just to brag a little, I think I was drinking too much alcohol and I quit. It’s been 7 months. It’s the longest I’ve gone without drinking since I started drinking. I like to say I’m just taking a break and may have a beer or two eventually, but I’m happy without it for now.

What? Why so grumpy? You said you wanted your wallet and car keys back, champ. I even gave you some money.

I saw the cat again today. He was outside and he literally ran over to jump in my lap. I just gotta be mindful of his claws I guess. I know he’d never hurt me on purpose.

Daddy who sometimes lets you win at wrestling, even though you both know that would never happen if he wasn’t allowing it.