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For reasons too convoluted to elaborate on, I’m considering rebranding to “Wendell McButt”

Turns out yellowjackets fuckin hate lawn mowers, you guys. Good thing they were primarily interested in my socks so that it only hurts to continue to have feet.

So many liberals and conservatives think that Affirmative Action is its own end, but we will not have true equity until we can legally, and at any time, open hand slap the living piss out of anyone who comes from wealth.

I get it. It’s some goofy ass carny talk shit. Some is definitely improvised and some seems to be coded consistently, like it’s legit secret magician slang. Either way I think it’s neat.

I’m watching Fool Us on Tubi and my favorite element of the show I didn’t expect After the trick is done Penn will say some nonsense like “That was great but Chort McGort does your dry cleaning. Also hasenpfeffer” which the magician will sheepishly confirm before retreating from the stage in shame

Nosir, it is not one of the better times in our history to be an oaf, believe you me. We have been absolutely whiffing it on the ambassadors lately. We have a few good ones but there’s a wild drop off after John Cena.

Sounds like you caught him at home.

my theory is that they are fully aware they could easily pass through the opening but are actually, as a species, so committed to doing Three Stooges style bits, that they’ve deemed their fate “worth it”

Mattingly’s sideburns but it’s my entire personality. And instead of Mr. Burns it’s everyone I’ve ever met.

I’m not a gamer but I’ve been hearing a lot of people say Linux Mint, Bazzite, or CachyOS are all good.

There is a distinct possibility that they are in fact they best there is at what they do. Now if they, or we, could just figure out what it is that they actually do, then we’d all know what geniuses they are.

“Dear god! Now he’s taking out a variable interest loan to buy a mobile home!”

Well now I just feel like I’m disappointing everybody. The man looks like a condom full of walnuts. I thought we could all see it.

You either die as Dwight Schrute, or live long enough to become that guy who never got over the fact that he’s really only ever been good at being various shades of Dwight Schrute but for some reason is mad at everyone else about it.

yeah man that one got me in the theater ngl

I always thought The Office was shorthand for middle of the road milquetoast comedy. The Family Circus of TV. He’s always been like this. He once tweeted that Hollywood only makes christians into villains. As if the whole fucking Conjure-verse doesn’t exist, let alone the entire history of ABC.

Joe Rogan? Like, condom full of walnuts Joe Rogan?

“Dirty groundhog” is an all timer.

Recently found out my wife had no idea the live action Popeye movie existed. This was wild to me because it was played on broadcast tv constantly when i was a kid. But then I remembered that in spite of that I’ve actually never seen it because, even as a child, I couldn’t understand why one would.

Oh is that all? Well shit, I could do that!