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From the director of such other masterpieces as Mac and Me, Mannequin 2, and Tammy and the T-Rex!

(They've already chosen right-wing)

Things aren't great, let's have some fun

Finally, the tale of a chonky rectangle repeatedly falling into holes can be properly told

I always assumed "Dubai" meant that it was a hollow facade, like a cheap chocolate Easter bunny from a drugstore

There's nothing to "join" in the Democratic Party. It's a brand with products I spend my vote on once a year at the democracy store. Most people's experience of it is an endless stream of texts that read like scams, their reward for donating or signing a petition. No wonder DSA is growing

It really took me out of Nolan's movie when characters kept asking Matt Damon "Are you some kind of odyssey?" And he'd reply "Buddy, I'm on THE Odyssey"

China stole the 2020 election but decided to take 2024 off, apparently

That explains the foot-reduction surgeries.

Any time is the right time for talkin' beans

This is a bot y'all. It coughs up hot takes for engagement. It's ok to block and move on.

Cowards.

Also, what kind of maximalist change is the mayor of NYC supposed to enact? Declare the city an anarchist commune that renounces money for a bartering system?

Oh no, not the growth narrative

Funnily enough I just started The Great When, and prose is so purple almost threw the book across the room before I remembered I was reading it on my phone.

More controversial were the next lines: "I'm all alone 'cause the ladies don't want me/Guess I'll wank off in this bottle of Chianti"

Per Cyndi Lauper, She Bop is 100% about masturbation

I just spoke to Dr. Will, he said to stop misquoting him

How about during