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My gf doesn’t have me or Pyro on mic to bully her tonight, she is vulnerable and naked like a hermit crab without a shell

There she is!!

Developed a new bit with my parents’ dog. When I can’t see her in my immediate vicinity and I need her for something I say to myself “where’s my Ruby? 🤔” and then wait to hear her scampering through the house to me. Then when she arrives I say “there she is!” and she gets excited and bounces around

New little guy just dropped

That Doctor Who episode where they bring Van Gogh to the future so see how deeply his works have moved people, and then they show him whatever the fuck this is to make sure he still kills himself.

Also what the fuck is a billionaire doing at the supermarket LMAO??

Girl you haven’t been getting child support?? He’s a millionaire! Rake him over the fucking coals!! Also this is not what POV means

Dracula when they open he coffin

I love the callout of “media literacy”. This video thinks I should engage with something beyond a surface level read, it must be fucking Woke

I’m a simple man, you show me a cunty little shapeshifter and I imprint on them like a baby duck

Evil little green lemming With this tama I’ve officially raised enough to have fully levelled their planet, so I don’t have a reason to keep breeding new ones as quickly anymore beyond wanting to fill out the different biomes. Maybe I’ll slow down a bit? Or maybe not…

Me: I don’t know how my brothers are so squeamish but I’m not. Did you send those two to a covenant when I wasn’t looking My mum: I sent you to a coven Me: [cackles]

The problem is I like to feel clever so it takes me forever to name literally anything because it has to have like. Meaning and shit

I hate naming characters I hate it I love drawing guys and I hate naming them it SUCKS

mucho texto i know but i wanted to write a lil thing about how u can treat yourself nice!!

Paddington lookin ass

Honestly this one reads like a horrific nightmare. Guy you’re chatting with online finds out you’re a woman and suddenly he’s inside your fucking house

Women love it when a you headbutt them in the face to assert dominance

Incredible news everyone, the horny novel ads have returned to me