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i wanted to go to my online na meeting but i'm too blah & now i don't want to. so i'm not going to. & i'm not going to buy into the guilt or feeling bad either. it's okay. & this is why i can only have commitments at one meeting per week. i have my in person meeting sundays & that's enough for me.

wherever they happen to fit or currently be piled, with the ones i read most or am currently reading on top or in their own piles, or in my bag that i take places. i have two bookshelves on which there are zero books. the rest of my books are still boxed up. one day I'll have bookshelves again.

"we might as well give up". actual words i just read, that for my sense of decency I'm not quoting the poster. should be "i don't care what happens to anyone". giving up isn't an option. not even in the supposedly safer blue states. giving up lets 'them' win & brings hell down upon ourselves.

25 february 2026 one of my tiny #Cactus. this time #CellphonePhotography #Photography captures what can barely be seen up close; this particular cactus wasn't even two whole inches tall at the time. no, i don't remember exactly what it is; my baby cacti bring me joy even without that knowledge.

it's funny how many people are suddenly okay with #Ableism, #Ageism, #Fatphobia, you name it… as long as it's someone on the other side of whatever. don't use words you wouldn't want applied to yourself or talk about people how you wouldn't want your [same condition] relatives talked about.

turns out i feel a whole lot better if i'm meds compliant all week. imagine that.

why does it say that people i've added to a list i have blocked are still following me? this is bullshit.

"milk looks weird stretched out like that." #OutOfContextTheatre

quote chains drive me nuts. i don't want to have to go through the whole matryoshka doll to find the original post. … apparently i'm terminally online tonight. someone save me before i say something stupid.

anyway entirely separately i'm feeling sentimental. so here's a photo for tonight, although my mother took it. 27 november 2020 best day of my life. hands down. my spouse will tell you that i looked even happier the day of my top surgery, but this still wins in my mind by at least some margin.

my relationship with 12 step is something else altogether. complicated, mostly.

"popular with friends" & someone's dissing firefly. something is wrong here.

rip. my phone is at 27% & i forgot to bring a phone charger with me today whatsoever. hopefully someone at the house will have one i can borrow. even with battery saver mine only lasts until 1830.

it's #Caturday! thus, my contribution today is a picture of zoey's adorable face. 13 july 2026 she's so tolerant with me shoving the phone camera in her face. i always think i'm annoying her, but she has learned to interpret photos as attention & always starts purring when the camera's out.

"eyeballs are luxury bones!" #OutOfContextTheatre

super pissed off today. found out yesterday the medi-medi plan i'm on is, for all intents and purposes, a piece of shit; i can't switch away from it until after all my dental work is done because ucla special needs dental clinic isn't in network with the hmo shit on the regular medicare part c.

typo. must not delete thread with typo… yeah i'm losing that battle. that's #OCD for you, though.

dr i saw today for first appointment was awesome; i'm genuinely thrilled to have them as my new primary care provider. i have an appointment in september to discuss the glp-1 bridge program, which i guess the patient education has to be done in person.

"some days i have to wiggle it more than others." #OutOfContextTheatre

"can i steal that giant nut?" #OutOfContextTheatre