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A more humane execution method: Force an inmate to eat Taco Bell to excess and get pegged by a dominatrix.

RFK Jr. recently had a bout of "explosive diarrhea." It's good to have it going out the normal way instead of all the shit that comes out of his mouth.

Happy Scare-Your-Dog Day, everybody.

Pistol fetish = Gun nut

Unfortunately Pride Month is over. Everyone has to go back to being straight now.

From now on I'm no longer referring to myself as "autistic" but rather as a "train enthusiast."

STREAMING SKETCHES SOON! www.twitch.tv/officialwkuk

OfficialWKUK - TwitchThe Whitest Kids U' Know is a comedy troupe. They are hit and miss. Nice guys though.www.twitch.tv

The opposite of constitution is prostitution.

I fell for a girl once, probably the dumbest way to get a back injury so I never did it again.

I told my psychiatrist I feel like a pair of curtains. He asked if I matched the carpet.

May the Cinco be mayo.

He remembers it so I never have to. #horrorart #nostalgiacritic #art

Let loose them doggerts of war. #art #digitalart #procreate

FANS OF HAHAS AND HOHOS: I will be on the Whitest Kids U' Know stream on Twitch March 22nd, 4:30pm PST along with my Sam Brown University classmates performing our scripts live. You can watch the stream at www.twitch.tv/officialwkuk and have the life of a laughtime.

OfficialWKUK - TwitchThe Whitest Kids U' Know is a comedy troupe. They are hit and miss. Nice guys though.www.twitch.tv

I've got you in all eight sights. #art #spider #blackandwhite #digitalart

Bok bok #artist #darkart #chicken #sword #commissionsopen

Whoa. #horrorart #crash

Hey gang, I'm trying to afford printing my new business cards. If you would like to help with this please consider commissioning me from my website at ko-fi.com/cpumpkinson. Thank you!

Jack of Lantern. #art #horrorart #halloween

In the land of smoke and money. #horror #horrorart #scary #carvey