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1) Go see if Mitch is alive. 2)Someone has emails and texts from Elon saying he rigged the election. Check it. 3)Presidents don’t make $2B while in office. Stop him 4) It’s illegal not to releaseThe Epstein Files. Do it. It’s not rocket science. Also don’t go where Lord Dampnut is doing stand up.

I would think if China wanted to undermine the US it would rig the to have Trump win. Like he did twice in the last three elections. I guess they were distracted 2020.

2 weeks post op!

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Breaking news: Trump has been removed from the card game Bridge.

I’m pretty good at making things up but I’m learning so much from this administration. The commitment is outstanding!

My friend Greg Proops Has (drum roll please) A New Album Out Today! KIDDING.BUT STILL. Improvised Live in San Francisco at the Punchline for Aspecialthing Records lnk.to/kiddingbutst...

Greg Proops - Kidding. But Still.Listen to Kidding. But Still. by Greg Proops.lnk.to

No one with a penis that small need that much ballroom.

Maybe you wouldn’t need a ballroom if there was a president that people liked…

It’s amazing the mental gymnastics that some people do so that they can be offended by a post.

So cool that we can recognize the most corrupt acts in American history . Um..is there a next step?

Weren't Presidents given immunity for what they does in office? So if Biden "unfairly" targeted Trump allies, he was allowed to, so no one needs to be compensated. This is why I picked improv over law...

I’m just going to come out and say it. People can be SO irritating!

Inspired by Lord Dampnut's administration, I am now blaming Daniel Day-Lewis 2012 Oscar win for my never receiving a nomination.

Yes Virginia, there is a Santa Claus…

1st two shows of our Australian Hyprov tour is tonight and totally sold out. We arrived yesterday and I'm sure my jet lag loopiness will be put to good use. Check out Hyprov.com for our other Oz tour dates.

HYPROV: Improv Under Hypnosis - Comedy ShowCreated by hypnotist Asad Mecci & Colin Mochrie from "Whose Line is it Anyway?", HYPROV is a live comedy show that combines hypnosis & improv to create a unique comedic experience. An expert hypnotis...hyprov.com

My retina is healing nicely, but I still won't have clear vision in that eye for a while. To read I have to close that eye so I can see print clearly. While checking flight info at the airport, it may seem that I'm winking at you. I'm not flirting, I just want to get on the right plane.

I think the phrase “a low I.Q person” should be used in every conversation, news story or article about the Pettydent.

Hey Waukegan! See you tonight at the Genesee Theater!

Port Angeles- Sold out Kirkland-Sold out. Salem you’re up next. Tomorrow at the Elsinore, check out Hyprov and be part of the fun!

Every year it just burns me up that you have to be in a movie to be Oscar-nominated. So elitist!