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For years, I had my video call background at work being a picture of some idealized version of myself at ren faire with a unicorn. When the description of Spinosaurus mirabilis was published a few months back, I swapped my unicorn for a dinosaur. Took *months* for people to notice...

*Important thing happening* *Neurotic as fuck, sets calendar reminders, alarms, allows plenty of time to ensure things don't go wrong* *Things go wrong* THIS IS WHY I'M NEUROTIC

Me: *Answers phone* "Hello?" Recorded Voice: "No one is available to take your call at the moment." Uhh...

"You want to meet for coffee this morning? I know this place down the street called... Lleactraterterd?"

An Old Bookstore Glows Along a Rainy Autumn Village Street | Dark Academia Piano AmbienceYouTube video by 𝐕𝐞𝐥𝐥𝐢𝐜𝐡𝐨𝐫 𝐃𝐚𝐫𝐤 𝐀𝐜𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐦𝐢𝐚www.youtube.com

I have just learned eggplant don't have vines. Eggplant vines were a critical story element for an anthology submission I've been working on the past week. All lies in ruin. (Look, my degree is in zoology...)

I don't know much about art but I know what looks cool to me.

Here for the accompanying art.

Not to judge a book by its cover, but that's a cool cover and I'm judging by it. I'm sorry, I have poor impulse control.

Neither are bananas.

Meanwhile I mastered show AND tell in kindergarten. Get on my level.

Legit question, is there any sort of, like, Obsidian or Bethesda-esque RPG with vibes like these thumbnails?

The Quiet Canal Keeps Every Autumn Evening Alive | Dark Academia Piano for Reading & RelaxationYouTube video by 𝐕𝐞𝐥𝐥𝐢𝐜𝐡𝐨𝐫 𝐃𝐚𝐫𝐤 𝐀𝐜𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐦𝐢𝐚www.youtube.com

I'm still in the hunt with having clearing the first round of the 48 hour 500 word challenge, and that was restrictive enough 😭 But hey, maybe you're someone who would get something out of this one! Or not. I don't know. Not a fucking mind reader here...

The 250-word Microfiction Challenge — nycmidnightThe 250-word Microfiction Challenge is an international creative writing competition that challenges participants to create very short stories based on genre, action, and word assignments in 48 hours.www.nycmidnight.com

"Orchard of the Cenobites" was featured in Pharmacopeia Obscura: The August Doctor's Notes. A faithful votary harvesting medicine from sacred orchards discovers the price of salvation is far worse than imagined. CW: Body Horror Available on Amazon.

Pharmacopeia Obscura: The August Doctor's NotesAmazon.com: Pharmacopeia Obscura: The August Doctor's Notes eBook : Augustsson, Jessica, Lucas, Christine, d'Scarlett, Dorit, Miksch, Mike, Shander, E.A., Peterson, C.J., Dancer, Maleah, Wyman, Morgan, Tulodo, Fendy, Best, Jim, Eric Tolladay, Steve Loiaconi, Holly Schofield, Benjamin Adams, Ollie Swasey, Robert Dawson, Don Norum, Jonathan Titchenal, Robert Borski, Glen Engel-Cox, Matthew Bettelheim, Ruth Bowens, Alicia Maskley: Kindle Storewww.amazon.com

Molluscular! ... We'll workshop that one.

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Name a more metal pen name. I dare you.

My unicorn sense was tingling, but no. Just horses. Now my day is ruined.

Like the game isn't hard enough, we've got dickholes like this dickhole being a dickhole and landing a 2.4 million advance with his AI book. You know, like a dickhole. Satisfactory comeuppance, however.

Well great, one of us is going to have to go home and change.