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Readers have been saying this for my entire career but I cannot be stopped.

Thrilling Roman chariot races! Vladimir Putin's "sweet eyes"! The Orthdox Oligarch! Investigation uncovers deeper ties between the French family behind a £600m theme park coming to Oxfordshire and Russia's annexation of Crimea. www.theguardian.com/business/202...

From occupied Crimea to Oxfordshire: the Kremlin links to new £600m UK theme parkExclusive: Puy du Fou worked with under-sanctions oligarch on plans for Crimea resort longer than disclosed, and later courted Iran and Chinawww.theguardian.com

Well, the final whistle on Chelsea FC's financial cheating under Abramovich seems to have blown. The Guardian and our reporting partners practically put it on a plate for the FA and Premier League. They blazed it over the bar. www.theguardian.com/football/202...

Chelsea fined £10m and given suspended transfer ban by FA over agent breachesThe club escaped a suspended six-point deduction for the infringements after appealing against the original punishment.www.theguardian.com

Portable tea/coffee cups on public transport. Ooh, can you not survive without a little sippy cup for half an hour? Does wickle baby need their half-arsed homeopathic caffeine hit? Grow up and drink three double espressos before you leave the house, like an adult.

I know these columns are a big funny joke to you people. But spare a thought for someone who, every time he sees that byline pic, recalls the day he tried to message a colleague "Something must be wrong, Allister is being nice to me" and sent it directly to him.

Is Eddie Howe the first Premier League manager to be sacked for whom the phrase "he got the axe" requires further clarification?

@annaisaac.bsky.social just does not miss at the moment.

Revealed: George Cottrell transferred $2m to his mother days before her donations to Reform UKExclusive: Sources say Fiona Cottrell told bankers the transfers, received 24-72 hours before her donations to Reform, came from her sonwww.theguardian.com

Because I'm a weird kid who was raised on cassettes of 1960s comedy radio shows, I primarily remember Bill Oddie for his brilliant comic songs on I'm Sorry I'll Read That Again. RIP. news.sky.com/story/bluesk...

Wildlife presenter and comedian Bill Oddie has diedWildlife presenter and comedian Bill Oddie has died aged 85, his agent said.news.sky.com

Highly recommend Julio Le Parc at the Tate Modern for anyone at a loose end in London with kids. Or, even better, without them.

OK, I've pretty much gone full Betteridge here but there's some fun along the way.

Will prediction market ‘catch fire’ in UK, replicating US boom?World Cup and events like Clacton byelection is driving interest in sites such as Polymarket, with UK gamblers easily able to sidestep regulationwww.theguardian.com

Burnham's 20% discount on business rates for pubs is a good headline grabber but pub folk aren't too impressed with this "fart in the wind". Spoke to one owner of three pubs who said it'll save him £40 a week.

‘A small snippet’: what pubs make of Burnham’s £100m rates giveawayLandlords say high costs of running hospitality business outweigh potential savings of business rates discountwww.theguardian.com

My take on The Odyssey, if you haven't seen it, is that you should take a hip flask, drink every time someone says "Zeus's law" then let me know how that went. When you get out of prison/hospital.

Just extraordinary.

"Nothing more than fluff and boiler-plate baloney" you say?

But which one is Gerard Houllier and which is Roy Evans?

Me yesterday: Liability, thanks for the memories but time to go. Me today: Mi capitan, new contract, build the statue.

El que no salta es Argentino.

Me, a season ticket holder of more than a decade, watching Spurs last season. #thfc #coys