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I saw that too, and my thought was, "So basically a tomato fruit roll-up?" Seems... unnecessary

I got sucked into a new rabbit hole. "Welcome to Night Vale" "He had a square jaw, and teeth like a military cemetery".. Goddamn, that's good.

I totally bailed on a company work event. "We're closing at 3pm, the event will continue until 5:30pm. If you attend, you'll get paid for the full day, if not, you won't." I get off at 4pm. Then.. I heard they were locking the gates to the parking lots... Gave 'em the old Irish goodbye at 2:57

Nope (Jordan Peele was right)

I still love D-Bowe. Worst he ever did was get caught with some weed and want to go to Sonic for the munchies? Pfft... whom amongst us... (Crazy pants though 😂)

Aaron Rodgers just seems like the fuckin' worst... good lord

You ever see something you really liked, but can't honestly recommend it to... anyone? Yeah...

Bluesky is fun because you can embarrass yourself, swear off the app forever, then come back and do it again 24 hours later

You ever judge your food delivery by weight? "I spent 50 bucks, and it feels like nothing is in there".. Then you get one Chipotle burrito, and it's like.. "Feels like a bag of sand. I definitely got my money's worth"

This cracked me up. Very helpful, thank you! 😂