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There’s a famous person that I’ve never heard of? They must not be that famous then. (Deafening buzzer noise)

Shidding on the shoulders of giants

April lambs bring May hams

I had a joke about depression, but why even bother?

In booming robotic voice: HERE IS THE CHAINSAW YOU ORDERED Again, but the voice is slightly muffled behind the door: YOU FORGOT TO TIP

I keep a crypt, but I’m not a crypt keeper

Ducking up my Sleep Score

Sometimes i load up this app and see a post that im pretty sure is funny as heck, but the dang feed refreshes before i finish reading it and then it’s gone forever

When your little joke lands at the start of your dinner date with a laurel: amused bush

When you want to give them hell, but you realized you got them that for their last birthday 😔

Pair of dice: lost

Going to start posting some of the doodles i make for the twins and the source requests. And maybe follow ups when they color over them. “Fish for dinner” “Fish is angry”

I hope giant inflatable bottles don’t get a reputation for being bad for transportation because one person had a tough time getting to work.

He ain’t heavy. He’s my brother.

Just started watching Nirvanna The Band The Show and it’s so good Silly in just a fantastic way

Drunk me is just the sober me who is trapped inside this fleshy tomb

“There’s spore where that came from”

It’s a sad day for a clown when they toot their last horn

I’m rotating the villain in my head

Honestly kinda glad Pokemon aren’t real