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the thing about being broke and miserable is you always have this vague sense that things will eventually get better despite no evidence and its a weird false how thats always there for no reason.

honestly might just give up filmmaking. telling stories with my friend was the most fun i ever had and I think the movie is truly beautiful but the rest of the bs and the capitalism of selling it and the rest just sucks the fun out of it like i could just write a book and focus on onlyfans.

I finally showed my poc bf my movie and they were like 'obviously made by a white trans woman' and it was like, oh yeah, people will have to say that about me lol

for my birthday my super butch lesbian bf is re-enacting a horny scene from Bound with me for my youtube i really couldnt be more in love.

i hate twitter at much as anyone but after 9 month they finally removed my shadowban and i hit such a wide audience there and i literally havent gotten 10 new followers in a year here. i dont understand how you would ever grow here without an algo.

when my egg was cracking someone gave me an andrea long chu book called 'women' as my community entry text and it was about how tumblr sissy porn made her trans and it probably set me back a year.

doe valentine and violet sparkle✊

finally showed my bf my movie and he said im not supposed to show how we actually talk to each other and joked i was betraying the community giving our secrets away then said nobody buys niche community stories if they dont follow the prescribed oppressed group story.

finally showed my bf my movie and 20 in tp say 'wait, these are just lines you use all the time and i fell for all of them?' 🤷‍♀️ it was still from the heart im just a writer...

finally showed my bf my movie and after the credit he turned to me and said 'i cant believe the queer community damaged you this much in under 5 years.'

my vanilla 55 year old wife had to refer to me as her 'trans xenogender fae wife with a he/him lesbian boyfriend' to a normal person and i genuinely felt bad for what ive done to her.

crashing out on social media is cringe. crashing out on instagram stories is 10x cringe.

found a muse and writing partner thats blowing my mind with their talent. the pitch is: 'always sunny but they are all anarchist crust punk faeries'

its impossible to know, but i often wonder how or if the 30 million views on my twitter porn translate to real life recognizability. are they staring at me because im clocky or because they jerk off to me?

the sissy recovery guy deleted his youtube channel and wiped it from the internet and i guess I'm happy for them but i wish I had saved them that stuff was the funniest thing i had ever seen im so sad i probably wont ever again see his review of the hypno film 'vacation from manhood.'

god i miss anarchy posting to extended family and highschool hangers on before i got kicked off facebook for saying something VERY funny about isriel.

my magnum opus for the zoe wolfe glitch art tv glow show asked the question what if mr melancholy was eclipsed and consumed by an omega level bambi sleep entity, expressed through glitch art tropes and soundcloud vibe music youtu.be/wsQbCDRZr1g?...

forced meloncholification v bambi is 4evaYouTube video by VioletMakesMoviesyoutu.be

does listening to a few seconds of bambi sleep mess you up for life?

bambi sleep addiction forums are probably my favorite place on the internet