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I know you're all really special, but if there's a line of cars stuck behind you honking because you decided you are so special the "no left turn sign" doesn't apply to you, the only kind of special you are is big a-hole special.

Big Knish and Little Knish would also be pretty great names for a couple Jewish gangsters.

Real Big Knish would be a good name for a ska klezmer band.

I'm sure we can just AI up some more bombs right?

It's a The Cold Tap Water's Warm kinda day.

My son's 9. I see all these younger kids when I pick him up from camp. It's really underscoring that he's very much a big kid now and time is gonna move even more quickly than it has been. I don't miss the little kid years, but the end parentheses to this bit of life do feel suddenly oddly in sight.

I will be running for higher office on an "I will stop spam texts and calls by castrating the people responsible for them" platform.

I'm moving my friends and family to a subscription model so instead of purchasing my undying love and respect once they will now have to do so annually.

They're called "Parental Controls" because they're designed to keep parents from being able to control anything.

Deleted like 800 "contacts" from my phone yesterday and damn it felt good. Had no idea who most of them even were.

Honestly kinda shocking that "liver milk" isn't the name of an xtc album.

Today on "What's Stuck in Matt's Headspace?": After a whole lot of noodlin' I guess we're craving some meat and potatoes. youtu.be/qmkJSHp3GOs?...

Ozzy Osbourne - Flying High Again (Official Music Video)YouTube video by OzzyOsbourneVEVOyoutu.be

I'd forgotten all about Mike's "Are you still playing the tiny drums?" sideways glances.

I hope all the scenes ended with a good wipe.

I love how if you so much as look near, much less at, your phone, CarPlay will turn off whatever you are happily listening to and play whatever the fuck might be open somewhere on your phone instead.

If you're still alive 20 years from now, you will be somewhere - a car, a store, a party - and the song you most passionately in all the world hate and right now think is the worst will come on and you will be happy to hear it.

You know, I wasn't feeling that great this afternoon and I could have just stayed home tonight, but I went out and saw a show and I feel fucking great right now. It's amazing how healing it is to see live music. It's a lesson I know I already know, but I also have to relearn it every time.

Keller Williams' Grateful Grass

It would be funny as fuck for Phish to play A Train tonight.