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I unironically love the part in Fancy when Iggy Azalea goes “Still stuntin, hoyoluhdeeeaah?”

Men say “I like your hair,” women say “I like your highlights.” Ball knowers

If I was a relief pitcher I would walk out to Black Betty by Ram Jam

Having a crush? ⛔️❌🚨 Crushing cans with your wall-mounted beer can crusher? ✅🟢♻️

When you ask your friend for a photo of her bf/husband and she pulls out her phone and starts saying “well, he is very attractive to me”

Jack Nicholson's Agreeable Evil SmileALT: Jack Nicholson's Agreeable Evil Smilestatic.klipy.com

My mom and I were recounting all the times I was in the (small town) newspaper as a kid: - Age 7, my sister and I at “Christmas in July” - Age 10, dancing the Highland Fling during my school’s Highland Games - Age 13, my cooking class did a potluck There wasn’t much going on back then.

I like how being a loser is “in” now

If you see this, quote post a pic of yourself in sunglasses

Me normally- views your IG story and maybe gives it a heart Me on 2-3 drinks: “WHOOOOO MAMA 😍🥰😻❣️💌💦🌊💧🥵💦😈🍆”

Whistle Wolf Cartoon ReactionALT: Whistle Wolf Cartoon Reactionstatic.klipy.com

If she doesn’t have a section of her vanity dedicated to hair bows and flower crowns, she ain’t whimsical enough

You know a guy got into Radiohead too young if even his pocket rejects him

JohnLeguizamoFan420

“Drinking, smoking, more smoking, more drinking”

A man’s favorite color should not stray from blue or green, otherwise he might be a problem

Wait… I *am* the leg man…

Bob the Tomato's Expressive ReactionsAlt: Bob the Tomato recalling killing a family of four in a hit and run in the 70sstatic.klipy.com

My boss owns a boat and loves to take us on a team sail every summer. I don’t want to sound ungrateful for being taken to sail, eat, and drink for hours. But it lowkey is a hostage situation

I am about to see Topanga IRL!!! Heavy breathing commences

My review of Morton’s The Steakhouse

Girl dinner (martini, burger, two beers)

I’d never start a Letterboxd, I’m more into getting a funny idea for a Spotify playlist and losing interest after adding 3 songs