Профиль

Black metal riffs, fuck Trump, and some clean playing. #metalsky #blackmetal #metalguitar #guitar

Видео

A taste of “Sacrifice Unto Stone”. #traumor #metalsky #trauma #blackmetal #deathmetal

Видео

"Sacrifice Unto Stone" track is LIVE on Bandcamp! *explicit lyrics* #traumor #bandcamp #metalsky #blackmetal #deathmetal #trauma #avantgarde #avantgardemetal traumor.bandcamp.com/track/sacrif...

Sacrifice Unto Stone, by Traumortrack by Traumortraumor.bandcamp.com

Playing word games on my phone because I need the broken pieces to fit somewhere in my head.

Had a fight with the person I care about the most. He wouldn't let me have my stated boundary, saying "no" and "that's crap", citing what he thinks is a manipulation on my part--that I've brought up stuff at the end in a text message in order to get the last say. 1) I was clarifying my boundary. 2)

Sigh.

I'll likely be going back to bed until later when I can live in a more peaceful world than the one I physical inhabit: Silent Hill.

Nevermore, Warrel Dane, death metal growls

Видео

I want to quit substack and tell everyone to fuck off for making me feel welcome and then disappearing. Another experiment where I didn't get what I wanted or needed. I'd been doing a lot of work expanding my life, but what use is it without good people I can trust and see?

@alienlilith.bsky.social It could be my decision to stop Traumor is premature. I don't know. I'm struggling with identity and depression.

It’s weird. Do I feel apathy? Or is it that I’m staying up playing PC games during a time of day when no one can reasonably require anything of me, and therefore my nervous system is more regulated? I’m routinely a mess before like 4pm…so much of my trauma happened in the mornings & around school 🤔

Because life has progressively gotten louder and more dangerous and more confusing and more stressful. Our nervous systems weren’t built for this shit.

Post a perfect album from the 90's that isn't nirvana, soundgarden, pearl jam, or Alice In Chains.

I still want to show my dad how much I can fuck up.

open.substack.com/pub/breathin...

I am actually insane.My best friend’s gift of handmade silk is the center of this photo.open.substack.com

I’m either forgetting to do something, or have already done it and forgot I did it. I want to stop growing. I need to say to my little buddy “It’s ok, we can be calm and safe now” the problem is. that’s part of growing. #CPTSD #trauma

I can't.

20 min bike, 3x12 pushups from knees, 3x12 crunches. I overworked myself when I did weights 4 months ago and I felt fatigued all the time. So I'm going with this today. Also: It's so nice when you're doing crunches and you fart and the AC blows in into your face. #fitnesssky

With all my derealization and having to re-check everything to see if 1) I did it and 2) if I did it right due to extreme trauma, teaching myself to record, mix, and master cohesively with new equipment and software is *very* hard. Sample of my notes.