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*using 53 gallons of water to ask AI if Harkonnens have normal genitalia

I’m high af and watching Labyrinth and may I ask wtf is going on in this movie ?

I’m to the “tell me how Harkonnens do it” portion of my high

I live in a low humidity area. In other words it’s dry, like Shai-Hulud’s pussy

My weed delivery place offers a “heavy hitters” edible. I cut it in quarters with my kitchen shears so it only kicks one fourth of my ass

I drew the fudge monster from The Amazing Digital Circus. Reference photo on top, pen drawing below. Not one of my best but I tried.

My boyfriend refuses to fart in front of me. Usually they have caved in by now wtf

I don’t know how many people I’ve made out with and I’m ok with that. Maybe I’m not supposed to know, it’s none of my business

Wondering if my new job will let me take time off so soon because these long awaited lyrics to the MacGyver theme song are not going to write themselves

lol they want another interview so I guess i didn’t bomb 💅

Today I answered the interview question “How do you show up for your coworkers” by saying “I’m like your favorite aunt” so uh, nailed it

Manifesting this

Googling “why does it feel so amazing to poop the biggest poop in the world and completely clear out your intestines” and then realizing that you’re drunk again and just sent this in a text message to your boyfriend

I haven’t wanted to skeet because I got laid off and I’m sad and feeling bad about myself but I took an edible just now so I might start saying dumb shit as nature intended

My parents don’t have a door on their master bathroom which is the kinkiest thing I’ve ever seen

If I were a rich lord oh the fucking goblets of wine I would drink,while I did lordly shit and thought grand thoughts of balls and ladies and shit like that

No one, ever: Me, high af and watching Bridgerton: twill be a cold day in hell when I make my return to the marriage mart and out of the sweet sexy embrace of spinsterhood

Honestly if your penis is bigger than a sleeve of Thin Mints i don’t want it unless your penis is literally thin mints then yes, I do want it

Absolutely fucking no one: Me: I do hope the Lady Francesca Bridgerton achieves a pinnacle during intercourse during this season, as thus far it has eluded her

I’m doing some watercolor tonight