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'Online content'

You can't have your fucking cake and eat it #subtweet

Just paid £3.70 for a pint of Staropramen 😎 #TheNorth

They don't talk about the 2012 Olympics closing ceremony in the same way they do about the opening one, do they....? youtu.be/6CnJ8YWxTJ8?...

Russell Brand & London Symphony Orchestra - 'Pure Imagination' - 'I Am the Walrus' 2012 4K 5.1YouTube video by Show 10 Música & Vídeoyoutu.be

I can't tell you how much my mind was blown when Geoffrey's son provided us with these exclusive pics from Zippy and George's retirement home a few years ago 😍

Just about to watch The Elephant Man for the first time in ages. Can't believe we saw John Merrick as a fun figure in the cartoon version they used to show on Children's BBC in the early 80s

Watching Taxi Driver for the first time in ages. Can't believe we saw Travis Bickle as a fun figure in the cartoon version they used to show on Children's BBC in the early 80s

Darts freak boy. Love it.

Been watching this live. Terrifying crash on this mountain descent. A few less feet of safety netting on this bend and he'd have gone over the edge

Starting to suspect these things get announced just for a laugh but never actually get made

Just deleted a very long but also very idiotic reply that someone had added to an Instagram post. Incredibly satisfying.

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'Who shall we get to do the official ball this season? Nike? Adidas?' 'Get Stuart Surridge to do it - he's a fucking ARTIST'

Watching a 1979-80 'Big Match Revisited' and there has never been a better football than this. Please do not respond with other footballs as I am simply not interested.

'Or you can be Gilbert Napthine...'

This Jethro Tull documentary on BBC4 reinforces all of my long-held prejudices about the group and its leader. #FluteCunt

'What global warming? This is nothing new. It happened all the time when we were kids in the 1950s-1970s. We used to dance around in the flames'

What time is the cut-off time for a meat dinner when on holiday abroad?

I'm at this. Quite enjoyable.

Two of the tickets I bought were for my 18-30 kids. They've since introduced 18-30 tickets for just £8. So I'm only £76 down, due to buying early and supporting the venue - YOU KNOW, LIKE THEY'RE ALWAYS PLEADING WITH US TO DO. Scum

'Dear customer, fuck off'