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You ever think about Dave Thomas, founder of Wendy's, kidnapping men off the street and forcing them to dress like Ronald McDonald before he beats them to death with a pipe between the years 1987-1998? Me neither. I mostly think about partying.

They only listen to reggae at the VFW.

You ever think about Dave Thomas, founder of Wendy's, kidnapping men off the street and forcing them to dress like Ronald McDonald before he beats them to death with a pipe between the years 1987-1998? Me neither. I mostly think about partying.

People are always saying to me, "Anthony, that's not a Pokemon, it's just an old man watering his lawn without a shirt," but I swear to God I will collect them all.

Every YouTube comment feels like a suicide note.

The HOA sent the Faceless Men to measure our lawn. Their tools of measurement have no markings which is fine because they have no eyes. They giggled, though we know not how, signifying code compliance and The Ice Cream man collected them. His truck played Fuck The Pain Away by Peaches. Great song.

The HOA sent the Faceless Men to measure our lawn. Their tools of measurement have no markings which is fine because they have no eyes. They giggled, though we know not how, signifying code compliance and The Ice Cream man collected them. His truck played Fuck The Pain Away by Peaches. Great song.

This is the worst $257 I've ever spent.

Official Verdict from RateMyColon.org: Uninspired liminal space fit only for tiny, lamprey jawed businessmen to suckle the blood from your walls whilst a fecal golem infused with the mutilated lifeforces of every plant and animal you've consumed in turn feasts on the well-dressed parasites.

There's a Chick-fil-A in The Backrooms that's ONLY open on Sundays.

Neighborhood teens are arranging themselves to look like a normal KFC so that when somebody walks in they rearrange themselves into the shape of a giant canon and shoot the victim into a nearby river. They call it sport morphing and it's coming to your town.

Sent my colonoscopy pics to RateMyColon.org. I’ll keep you updated.

Came to in the middle of my colonoscopy. Not being sure about who you are while a camera is shoved up your ass all the way into your guts isn’t fun but at least I know that now.

I’m actually getting a colonoscopy tomorrow! Got my first one five years ago and they removed 4 pre-cancerous growths that def would’ve become cancer.

Donny is a crab with a small man for a face. Even though his face may seem to have a mind of its own and say things like, "My name is Michael, please help me. Everyday under the waves I drown and yet I live," these are not Donny's views and Donny would like to be treated like any other crab.

My little cousin told me Sailor Moon’s cat smokes weed and I got so upset that I told him to take it back and he wouldn’t and now I’m crying in a ditch and I don’t remember where my house is.

Looking at the doctor’s instructions for my upcoming colonoscopy and apparently I’m supposed to, “Wear that cute little outfit I like,” or my insurance won’t cover it.

There's a Chick-fil-A in The Backrooms that's ONLY open on Sundays.

My little cousin told me Sailor Moon’s cat smokes weed and I got so upset that I told him to take it back and he wouldn’t and now I’m crying in a ditch and I don’t remember where my house is.

It definitely should be the price for posting.