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my blood boy is hungry again 🙄

SOURCE: friday has launched a devastating strike on its mortal enemy of work

my neighbors call the tree service guys ‘the plug’ and call them 50 times while they’re on their way over to cut down all their trees

garbage man playing Rihanna - We Found Love at max volume on his phone speaker as he operates the truck’s bin arm

when a animal is huge >>>

initiating Za Acquisition Mode #pizza

(‘it’s just a little cough’ voice) it’s just a little explosive diarrhea

when i lay on the couch a new personality called Dr. Supino takes over my body

experiencing the despair of #EarlyLunchHunger

they’re letting me into the outer circle

(golf announcer voice) He’s been in bed since 10. *90 second pause* Golly we’ve never seen a guy so good at this.

birds must feel amazing when they crap on the wing

visited a wetland

source: pad thai inbound, expected to reach my gullet within 30 minutes

wake up. sit perfectly still. eat. sit perfectly still. eat. sit perfectly still. eat. sit perfectly still. go to bed. wake up. sit perfectly still

my Wrangler Husband is filling our house with rubber ducks and wants an ‘open relationship’

down with the New York YanKKKees

would like to let whoever made these new Arby’s cheesesteak commercials know that they look like diarrhea on a bun. at least they’re up front about it I guess

my cat is taking a shit

Rick Ross Wants This Post To Go ‘Bacterial’