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One of my favourite Innocents Abroad moments is watching tourists in Paris reading the "Beware of pickpockets in this area!" signs and immediately checking where their wallets/phones/valuables are, to the keen interest of the watching pickpockets.

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One night, we accidentally ended up in Mexico City's hard core red light district. Tempted but lost and running late for a dinner engagement. A bunch of mucho macho studded and tatted male hustlers courteously escorted us to the subway station while discussing Kylie Minogue's career.

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Should make it clear here, the key phrase was "No, actually we're Australian.".