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when I was a (sassy) teen, my stepdad texted me passive aggressively stating "it'd be nice if others could use the bathroom" so I walked out of my bedroom and yelled "I agree" someone had accidentally locked the door with no one inside and he was so shocked

TeenagePhlebotomy

My kid somehow locked the bathroom door after leaving the bathroom, rendering it inaccessible. I, a true handyman, smacked the knob twice with a hammer and the lock popped open.

150

I also used to tell my mom I didn't ask to be born and stepdad would get SO mad and at like, 8 years old I would reply "why do you care? you weren't even there"

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I was such an asshole holy shit