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Never once have I heard epic orchestral royalty-free music with ascending chord progressions over a video and thought, “yeah, this product launch really is exciting. The music really fits this.”

Data centers remind me of my casual interest in guillotines for some reason

Mamdani officiates Taylor Swift and Travis Kelce’s wedding at MSG. Tim Walz gives a speech that ends racism and world hunger. Hillary sends an email to turmp that just says, “you’re fired.” He is then perp-walked into an old taxi cab and driven to prison. July 4th is forever known as Swift Day.

I have too many followers

But instead, the left should do the exact opposite of this.

“Maintain the status quo at all costs.” Is another way of saying “I endorse [gestures widely] all this.” Do we even have a party committed to change anymore?

Turmps America is a dumb place